One of the most important things in my life has been forgiveness. This is mostly due to how selfish, thoughtless, and unable to listen I have been throughout my life; with God, with family, and with friends. So to all those I have wronged (most likely everyone) I ask you to please forgive me. Please forgive me. Please forgive me.
In one of my favorite films, Ushpinzin, there is a Jewish tradition depicted that I respect very much. The tradition is that when you know you have wronged someone, you go straight to them and you say “Please forgive me.” When they forgive you, you say again “Please forgive me.” When they say again that you are absolved, you say a third time “Please forgive me.”
It reminds me of Jesus saying,“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Forgiveness is a big deal. Probably a bigger deal than you or I realize.
Robert lives on the streets.
I met Robert walking to home from work one afternoon, and we struck up conversation. He asked me for money, I had no cash, but offered to buy him a burger at the Wendy’s we were walking past. He agreed and we went in. I got him a burger, and myself a chicken sandwich, and then Robert helped to confirm my belief that something special happens when people share a meal together. Robert began to tell me his story.
A few years ago, Robert had gone in to a check cashing place to cash his SSI check. When he came out, he was smashed in the face with a baseball bat, his money was stolen, and he was left on the sidewalk with a jaw broken in two places. . . . As a result of those injuries to the face and head, he now suffers from constantly slurred speech and seizures. Not to mention he had a very difficult time eating the burger.
He talked to me about the medicine he was on, how it made him dizzy, how he had a metal plate in his jaw, how he had been in the hospital a few times since then, and how, if he ever saw the man that he knew had taken his money, he was going to kill him. He was going to end his life. Robert made this very clear to me.
Robert told me that in the hospital, the police and the nurses wanted the name of the man who had injured him. Robert claims he could have given them the name, and how he knew him, and which grocery store he shopped at; however, Robert would not do this, so that he could kill this man himself and not have him live at the mercy of the law.
A couple of times I tried to talk to Robert about how silly that was, and asked how killing this man could be worth it knowing that it would mean Robert would most likely spend the rest of his life in jail for murder?
Robert was not having it. He was calm, never raised his voice, but also never even entertained the thought that killing this man would be a bad idea.
“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die”
We got some frosties because I felt bad for having caused more pain to Robert’s jaw, and we walked to the 7/11 because Robert said he knew a guy there who could get him cigarettes.
On the way, I kept thinking about how this incident had taken over Robert’s life. How he couldn’t get back on his own feet because his every day was consumed with this man who had hurt him. Everything, from eating to taking his medicine, reminded him of the incident. He couldn’t forgive.
Forgiveness is a big deal.
Jesus seems to say if you can’t forgive, you don’t know God’s forgiveness. You don’t know how to live the life God has for you. You are living in spiritual death.
Right when we got to the 7/11, Robert grabbed the strap of my shoulder bag. I thought,”Great, now this guy’s gonna rob me.” But I turned to look into his eyes, and something was very wrong. I realized that Robert had merely grabbed me to hold himself up. He was having a seizure. I walked him to a very conveniently close bench, and sat him down. He leaned against the backrest and shook rhythmically and solidly, with an absence in his eyes. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.
The firemen were there before I had finished giving the lady on the phone all of the information. I told them that I knew he had a history of seizures, and that his name was Robert. I didn’t know his age, last name, address, or any relatives. They took him away. I don’t know to which hospital, or for how long.
I think about Robert often, and about Christ’s call to ask for forgiveness, and to forgive.
-grace and peace
chad wright pittman 
Thank you for taking time to feed a lonely, angry, totally broken-hearted man. It takes guts to just step up like that. Thank you for reminding me that forgiveness is a big deal, (and of course the biggest deal of all, Christ forgiving us!) because I think that sometimes people can be too quick to forgive, and then hold a grudge anyway. I do that sometimes, but I don’t realize it until later, when God speaks to me (in my head and asks me why I am thinking about that thing that hurt me so long ago when I already ‘forgave’ that person). It reminds me to really mean it when you do forgive. That is hard for a lot of people. It is hard to move on, but if you don’t move on your life won’t get any better and will probably get worse. Thanks for helping me to remember to forgive and be free!
xxoo mamacita
Yes! This is so good, so beautiful. Forgiveness. And there is a real sense of being close to the heart of Jesus when we stop to have a burger with the Roberts. So much to learn of His unfailing love! Keep preaching this message, Chad. My heart needed to hear it.